I admire you and find what you are doing completely natural, since 42 years of my life was spent out

I have written before about forbidding wrong and judgmental people . I have found some of the social first time cruise mexico advice pressures and moral judgments first time cruise mexico advice from our community quite oppressive. Things many people in the West may consider quite normal become bastions of inequity. Things like two couples going out for dinner ((gasp!)) or hosting a female first time cruise mexico advice language student in your home ((gasp!)). I am aware that there are a wide range of social practices and mores. I try not to judge those who are more rigid or fluid in their interpretations of Islam, but that favor is rarely returned in kind. This is especially the case when it comes to sociological and cultural first time cruise mexico advice practices, as opposed to religious and spiritual practices. Gender segregation is a sociological practice that has a cultural basis. For some Muslims who practice gender segregation, the free mixing between the sexes is tantamount to an all and out orgy. As a single woman living in the Muslim world (both in America and the Middle East), I have been on the receiving end of a lot of negative judgments.
I know that there are many Muslims who do not believe that women should live on their own, let alone travel without a close male relative or husband. first time cruise mexico advice There are Muslims who won’t have a conversation first time cruise mexico advice with an unrelated man or even have a business related meeting alone with an unrelated man. I know for one graduate first time cruise mexico advice student, this caused serious problems. I’ve been Muslim for 14 years and for all but 2 ½ years, I’ve had to navigate things on my own. I guess I have a more pragmatic take. I’ve preferred to live as a “loose woman,” working outside the home, traveling by myself , choosing a career as a western trained scholar rather than choose a circumscribed life. I have seen too many vulnerable women who are abused by their spouses and feel helpless to change their situation. I know relatively happy women, who in their youth had ambitious career plans but decided first time cruise mexico advice to live conservative lives. A number of my college friends are now stay at home mothers who are deeply involved in their children’s education first time cruise mexico advice and community life. I am proud of them and admire their efforts. I have a lot of respect for women’s work. But, I could not limit myself to being only a wife and mother, but also a scholar in order to make a contribution to my community. Finding that balance is difficult, but I think it is possible.
But women who have not given up their career paths in order to get married first time cruise mexico advice are looked down upon. I don’t think I’m taken as seriously as a man in my position. I guess in their mind they are like, “How cute, she can write papers!” Perhaps that is the reason why I have gotten little support from my community.
I experienced my first major dose of judgment when I was 18. It had to do with my living situation and the fact that I didn’t live with my parents. People would tell me that I should move back home without understanding first time cruise mexico advice my family situation. Nor did they understand how much the family I stayed with helped me stay in school and pursue my education aspirations. At that time, there were few Muslim women living on their own or even renting rooms together. And there is no real community support for convert women. No aid for finding first time cruise mexico advice housing, few jobs in the community that offered competitive pay, and definitely no social services for any sisters who had a hard time finding work because she wore hijab. Instead, they encourage new convert women to get married right away. It didn’t take me too long to figure out that our Ummah has really not created a space for women like me.
I suppose the dilemma for a Muslim woman traveling in the Middle East is to pick which scandalous first time cruise mexico advice living arrangement first time cruise mexico advice she’ll have. If you live by yourself, you’re a loose woman (without a mahram) with no one moderating your behavior, if you live with a family you are inviting scandal (living with a non-mahram man). Perhaps if you live in a commune of ultra-religious women you might escape stigma. But then again, who knows? You can still draw controversy. Basically, you have no business having any ambitions outside of being married.
I am aware that people are often well intentioned in their judgmental behavior. But I do think that it is important that they be aware of how their imposing views can be seriously first time cruise mexico advice detrimental to the emotional and spiritual well being of others. There’s nothing more lonely than being part of a community. Just to get by, I have had to make a lot of fluid interpretations of my religion. I would never have been a doctoral student if I followed the Fiqh books like a manual for life. And because of that, I am judged. But getting the same message—“you are not in line”—pounded down my throat turns me off from wanting first time cruise mexico advice to engage first time cruise mexico advice with this community. I guess we should be reminded that it is easy to judge whether someone is in line with some social norm or cultural practice that may or may not reinforce spirituality. But we cannot judge what is in someone s heart or know their spiritual station. And because of that, we should be humble and reflect on our own intentions when we tell someone what they are doing wrong and why they should change some aspect of their lives.
Though much of what you say is still true, I find that a lot of these things first time cruise mexico advice are changing very quickly among the traditional circle walhamdulilah. You now find the most conservative (I hate that word, I think it s loaded first time cruise mexico advice just for lack of a better one) women living and working alone abroad. Also with so many convert women, it s becoming first time cruise mexico advice more of a norm. I hope.
Tradicionalista, first time cruise mexico advice things are changing. Years ago when I first became Muslim, there were no accomodations for women who wanted to study Arabic. The only ones that were able to study had family members in the Middle East. So, they could either live with family members or have some people looking out for them. Now there are more women living alone, but people will judge them. The whole taboo against travelling alone is the reason why there are few Muslim women graduate students at my university. Many families just won t let their daughters go away for education or professional development. Even us converts get browbeaten by immigrants and converts alike. Basically, even though more and more are doing it we re still looked down upon.
[...] shadiness and ineptitude. Overall, it is a mixed bag. I ve already written about boredom first time cruise mexico advice and being judged. I have felt homesick, isolated, disoriented, and lonely. It would be far worse if I lived on my [...]
I admire you and find what you are doing completely natural, first time cruise mexico advice since 42 years of my life was spent outside of Islam and I can see this multi-faceted world the same as you. What can appear to be haram to those who do not understand the west and the complications that can arise in so many situations, such as the disappearance of the nuclear family, equality in the workplace movements, equal rights first time cruise mexico advice for women well, it can seem so overwhelming and as if Satan rules. Anyway, I m just saying first time cruise mexico advice I admire you and all women who are striving to make their way in this world and in Allah. Ma asalama!
I see you as a silly, self-righteous first time cruise mexico advice person who does not respect Islam. first time cruise mexico advice It is not just cultural or social to forbid the free-mixing of the sexes. There is a famous Hadith, that says, if a man and a woman who are unmarried are alone together, then Satan is also there with them. It is well-known that Prophet Muhammad (SAW) was always quick to let people know that the woman he was alone with was his wife, if there was any doubt. Not to mention the Quranic edict to lower your gaze, and guard your private parts how exactly are you lowering your gaze when you are alone with a man who is not married to you? Your dedication to being a scholar shows that having a title is more important to you than worshipping Allah. The Prophet has said in a famous and sound hadith, that half of religion is marriage, and you have called half the religion this as a limitation ( I could not limit myself to being only a wife and mother). first time cruise mexico advice The Prophet also condemned learning useless first time cruise mexico advice things. If your scholarship has led you to call marriage limiting, then it is quite useless. To speak of what is acceptable in the West right now all but declares your rebellion against religion altogether, first time cruise mexico advice and common sense. No religion first time cruise mexico advice condones free-mixing of the sexes if you actually read the religious book. No culture first time cruise mexico advice that accepts first time cruise mexico advice marriage truly accepts free-mixing. The proof of the last statement is that if a married woman is alone with a man for an extended period who is not related to her, these are grounds for divorce. It is only god-less people who worship their own opinions over the one, true God who rebel against such things. This rebellion is usually in some pretense that one wants to understand something better. Read the second Surah, and you find people exactly like this. Their questions are in reality an attempt to get around Allah s clear commands. A person who wants to do right will avoid the appearance of evil (a Biblical edict), leave what is doubtful about what is right, first time cruise mexico advice for what is sure (a famous and sound hadith), follow that which is revealed from Allah, first time cruise mexico advice take not as friends nor partners other than Allah, little it is that you remember of admonition ( a Quranic, passage; your opinions are being taken as partner with Allah)
Hi, I think same as you. I have been away from home from last four years. I study in US. My family is in Pakistan. Its hard to find someone like myself here. Mostly women come to US after marriage or with their parents. Its very hard for me to relate first time cruise mexico advice to someone or express someone that my love for Islam is just as much as a Muslim women has in any other country first time cruise mexico advice living with her parents.
I just stumbled across your blog and I am dumbfounded! I felt like I was reading a page right out of my life! There actuallay IS another convert going through the same things I am going through! I thought I was the last single Muslima on earth who was facing those problems! I have been Muslim and single for so long