But none of that explains the absurdity of some cruise line practices. Nor does it begin to help you

Whether it's a silly upsell, like asking you to pay extra for fine dining on your "all-inclusive" vacation, or dumb laws that prevent you from boarding or disembarking your vessel, you won't fail to find something absurd at sea.
Just ask Shirley Ann Schultz, a sales assistant in Tampa, Fla. When she boarded a recent cruise, the ship's security confiscated a five-inch knife she uses to prepare food. "Then, a couple of hours later, they handed us a steak knife — with a six-inch blade," she says.
For better or worse, cruise ships are unlike anything else in the travel industry. These enormous floating hotels don't play by our rules, thanks to maritime laws and ports of convenience, which ensure minimal regulations my travel group while they get to pocket my travel group the maximum profits.
But none of that explains the absurdity of some cruise line practices. Nor does it begin to help you prevent these bizarre my travel group policies from sinking your next cruise vacation. Here are six more practices that defy explanation, and how to get around them:
When James Dixon missed his cruise in Miami because of a flight delay, he tried to catch the ship in Key West, Fla. But when he arrived, a cruise line representative informed him that because of the Jones Act, he and his party couldn't board. "I was in tears because our scheduled vacation for my mom was ruined," he says.
I asked my colleague, my travel group cruise expert Anita Potter, what was going on. "Yes, there is such as thing as the Jones Act — this law was designed in the 1800s to protect and regulate the American shipbuilding industry and ensure a fleet of United States-flagged ships," she told me. "In today's world this law is very outdated — and sadly, still in effect."
In Dixon's case, the Jones Act forbids foreign ships, which includes most major cruise line fleets, to transport cargo or passengers between two United States ports without first stopping at a foreign port. How do you avoid it? Don't try to board a cruise ship anywhere but its homeport.
Most cruise ships now offer "premium" dining that cost extra. Of all the fees that they charge passengers, these are probably the most maddening. Cruise lines like to present these upsells as options: If you want a "special" restaurant experience, they say, why not go out for a steak dinner?
But frequent cruiser Candice Sabatini has a different take. "I've already paid $5,000 on an all-inclusive cruise," she says. "Also, I think it [implies] the cruise line will serve sub-standard food in the main dining room." She avoids cruise ships that don't include all meals for that reason.
It's difficult to do that, but there are still some cruise lines out there that are truly all-inclusive. You have to look long and hard — and sometimes my travel group you have to pay a lot more — to get them. But if you don't like being charged for something that should be included in your cruise, it's worth the effort.
It isn't just the best restaurants that are extra, of course. That margarita you ordered with lunch is $8. Sodas are extra, my travel group too. So are excursions, and pretty much anything else that isn't bolted down on the ship.
Even amenities that you think would be included, aren't. For example, Diane Hansen found that her luxury cruise didn't allow her to use the sauna and steam room without paying a surcharge. Most cruise ships allow you to use the spa at no extra charge. So she blogged about her experience and then decided to take her business elsewhere. "We were going to get a couples massage on board," she says. "Instead, we opted for one on shore and didn t spend any money at all in the on board spa."
When you buy a cruise, most travel experts recommend booking your airline tickets at the same time, since you're more protected if you miss a connection. "But you have no idea what your flights are going to be, nor what they will cost," says Peter Mescher, a computer engineer from Raleigh, N.C. "When the cruise line reveals your itinerary, if you don t like it, you call them and pay an air deviation fee."
Why bother with a deviation fee? Part of it is the money, but part of it is the perception that you'll be better off booking an "air inclusive" cruise if you miss the boat. But is the money you save worth the hassle, or are you better off buying the airline tickets yourself and finding a good vacation insurance policy that would help you if you had to cancel or get delayed? Probably not.
Think I'm kidding? Reader Melissa Aakre just returned from a cruise to Jamaica and the Cayman Islands. my travel group "On the first day at sea, we were told that the ship had a propulsion problem and that we were not going fast enough to get us to Jamaica, and that they were hoping we could get to Grand Cayman," she recalls. "On day three we were told we would only make it to Nassau, Bahamas, which is just 90 miles from Miami." What did she get for the missed port? A $75 credit.
The cruise line should have refunded her port fees, but a review of her cruise contract — the legal agreement between her and her cruise line — shows it didn't owe her much more than that. It had no obligation to keep her advertised schedule. The contract is full of other clauses my travel group and traps that you should familiarize yourself with before you set sail.
Smart cruisers stay as far away from onboard jewelry seminars as possible. Look out for art auctions, too. "These events are tagged my travel group as educational seminars my travel group that also include tip sheets on where to buy while in port, and on some cruise lines includes a 'buyer's guarantee' that is supposed to help the passenger with refunds in the event that they are unhappy with the purchase," my travel group says Jacci Dewdney of Advanced Jewelry Appraisals in Des Moines. "What continues to amaze and frustrate me is that passengers either are not told, or do not understand, that the jewelry stores on the list have paid a premium to be listed, and are essentially paying the cruise line to funnel passengers to them."
Unfortunately, travelers are often caught up in the romance my travel group of the moment, and feel a false sense of security because of the cruise line's guarantee, adds Dewdney. When they get home, they realize that their jewelry is worth less than they thought and that the cruise line is unwilling to help.
These absurdities are enough to make you rethink your next cruise vacation, aren't they? But if you decide my travel group to cruise, you might consider a few preventative measures that will ensure my travel group you don't get the short end of the stick.
I ve never been on a cruise (unless you count a bareboat yacht charter). The more articles I read like this, the more I m convinced that I m never going on one. If all you sheep keep giving the cruise lines business, nothing will change, except perhaps my travel group for the worse.
I don t like the big boats for all of the reasons Chris lists above and just as importantly because you can t control the amount of time in port. I took a Norwegian Cruise Line trip to see Alaska and it was the first and last big boat cruise I will ever do. Why we spent from 6pm-9pm in Victoria, I will never know. Most every place of interest was closed and the cruise ship knew ahead of time that the orca pods had swam toward Washington State two days before we booked their high-priced total rip-off whaling watching boat trip! During the cruise, I quickly learned a fly and drive trip is a much better way to see Alaska. Live and learn.
Having said that I do like small boats. I went on a 16-passenger trip with Haugan Cruises to see the Galapagos Islands. The Nina catamaran was amazing. The food was just as good and even better than NCL lobster tail was included, not extra! I was blown away. Because we were only 16 people, we were able to modify the itinerary and do more snorkeling. I think small boats are fabulous.
The Jones Act is one of the most blatant examples of 19th century protectionism. In addition to the problem presented by Mr. Dixon, all of us here in Hawaii are the victims of the Act, since no goods can be transported from California to Hawaii except on US ships, my travel group which results in higher costs for everything we buy at the supermarket. It s time to retire this law NOW.
Lisa- As a Victoria native, my travel group I can say with great assurance that even if the cruise lines knew the orcas ( some orcas would be more appropriate) my travel group had been out towards Washington two days earlier, that is virtually meaningless in the world of whale-watching. Victoria is home to both resident and transient orcas (including three resident pods- J, K and L). The transient and resident whales avoid one another, so even if J, K and L have joined up to form a superpod near Washington that means the transient whales are unlikely to be near Washington. Furthermore, the whales swim huge distances every single day and could easily be found near Washington one day and around the west coast of the island the next (or even later that same day).
Under the Passenger Services Act (Jones Act applies to Cargo, PSA applies to passengers), a foreign ship that carries passengers on a roundtrip cruise from a US port must stop in a foreign port sometime during the cruise. So a roundtrip cruise from Miami can stop in Key West, Tampa, Port Canaveral along the way as long as it stops in a foreign port like the Bahamas or Mexico. BUT if a passenger boards the ship in Key West instead of Miami their cruise is now actually a one way cruise from Key West to Miami and is governed my travel group by different rules. For a one way cruise, to be legal under the act, the ship must stop in a DISTANT foreign port (distant is defined under the act and from Miami the closest distant foreign port is in the ABC islands or South America). So unless that cruise stops in Aruba, if the passenger boards in Key West instead of Miami, they are violating the PSA.
If it was a typical Western Caribbean cruise ( e.g., Miami, Key West, Cozumel, Miami), and the passenger misses my travel group the ship in Miami, boarding in Key West is completely legal, since the foreign-flagged ship will not be transporting the passenger between two American ports. I suspect that was the c